I'm not a rebel. Just a walking contridiction.

Not a crowd mingler.

2008-02-22T17:59:00.003+08:00

In the media industry, the skill of socializing is more than merely building good rapport with your peers, clients and bosses. By associating with the right people make your career soar, generate revenue figures to the company's account and all that jazz. Which is the reason behind the exorbitant social networking parties.

The toughest part is.. To break the ice and make the first move. Unfortunately the office culture is not exactly helping. Almost everyone here is young (think below 35), full of energy and gear up to impress. Just like school, they hang out in cliques. It is not easy to mingle around the popular ones unless you too have either the looks, the position or if you are an up-and-coming raising rookie. In other words, you got to be LIKE them to be WITH them. Everyone just loves you when you're winning...

It is ironic that the environment has compelled me into reservation. I am more worried about how the others will judge me if I am being myself. Tongues will wag. Well, the no.1 rule of survival is still "every man for themself". The game of office politics is just a silly game that was spurred on by greed for power and fame. It is just so tiring that to think of strategies to worm your way into your boss' heart on top of your piling workload. But if I am not in the game, I will probably not have a good chance at promotion. People who made their efforts and potential known are mostly aggressive. I want to be like them. I want to be the tiger... But the heart of my nature is still very much the likes of a domestic kitten. I am pretty much alone in crowded concrete jungle.

Don't you know that shit can be WHITE?

2007-11-06T00:35:00.001+08:00

This video just freaking make my blood boils. Not only are these arrogant prats a disgrace to their own race, but they are also making us, asians, hate them a little more.

Here's my little encounter with them, white shite. When I was in the "great" Britain, I have some French guys calling me and my (asian) friends "communist pigs". And some young British punks threw rubbish at us while they were driving pass. One of my girl-friends was being poked fun at to look like a "lady-boy" and a Burmese friend got kicked in the butt by some girls at the Underground. Which makes me think of Lily Allen that motor-mouth-of-rubbish girl with that "I-will-do-as-I-please" attitude.

You know us, asians, we are submissive and docile due to the course of history that tamed our manners towards our more "superior" white counterparts. To mention a few global impression Asians: We are "cunning", We "hate to lose", we don't mind "dirty, lowly jobs", we are usually related to "drug lords" or "mafia" or "rogues"..so on and so forth... But realised that we never openly jeer at caucasians, let alone those caucasian old folks. Well, not suggesting that the next time you see some old caucasian geezer with a young perky SPG in toll, you should go up and say, "Oh.. you are so benevolent. Did you adopt your grand-daugther from a third-world country nearby?"

Because 2 wrongs don't make a right.

*And there is nothing GREAT about Britain.*

Chris Brown VMA's 2007

2007-10-20T02:27:00.001+08:00

Forget Britney's lacklustre performance at this year's VMA. Chris Brown stole the show... Totally! He's just so smooth. Even Justin Timberlake professed that he felt "older" after watching Chris Brown performed.

*Punch chest* Respek!

Mom's keeping up with the times...

2007-09-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

Mom was ultra grumpy when I work up this morning. I realised why... My brother broke the shower head and the toilet looked like a tornado just left. So as I was preparing to take my morning shower, I asked my mom, "Mommy, do I use the other toilet for the time being?"

"DUH! Use your brain and think, can?" my mom replied.

I swore she sounded uncannily like my 14 year old brother. Then I went on to ask her, "Mom, why you sound so pissed?"

She stared at me with a rebellious streak in her eyes and held up the middle 3 fingers of her left hand and said "Wateverrr!"

(-_-)lll

I totally heart David LaChappelle

2007-08-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

To me, this is the greatest photographer of all time!!!

All hail David LaChapelle!

Check him out here: www.davidlachappelle.com

My life so far.

2007-07-02T01:22:00.000+08:00

It's the start of a mundane life. Or rather, a structured system to follow. Strictly 9am - 6pm, Mondays - Fridays. You know that kind of sh*t. Not that I mind, really. The lifestyle I used to lead spins my biological clock out of control and I dread it. So a mundane's life is good.

Apparantly the only concern most of my friends showered on me was mainly about my punctuality issue. Boy, be surprised!... Cause I was hardly late for work. I cross my heart on that... *beams* I mean with a hefty price tag of $25 (cab fare) to you just lazing around in your bed for another 15mins, is it worth it?

With many aspect of my life getting back on track, the path ahead do look rosier than before. Project Eclat has its headstart recently and I got a new laptop to celebrate it (haha.. erhmm my iBook can't keep up with the times already). I have been reconverted back to being a PC user because I think the new MacBook is just too over-rated and, of course, the price would have busted a big hole in my pocket.

There are many more of these mundane things I could have blog about if I were to go on.. Like how teenage angst VS menopause blues... It's total mayhem if you are living through a storm in the teacup. Argh.. What I meant simply means dealing domestic squabbles. But I will probably leave this whole drama to another day. Ciao!

p.s.: in case you haven't notice, "mundane" is one of my pet phrase. Have a mundane monday!

Bliss of a seemingly mundane day

2007-06-10T03:29:00.001+08:00

This was one of those days that made me felt right.

Start of day
---------------------
- Woke up at noon (slept 9hrs *woohoo*)
- Lunch (prepared by mom) was ready
- Watch a light hearted movie with my bro
- Family dinner (pretty rare)
- A night out with friends
- Blogging about it
----------------------
End of day

Probably mundane to some. Or maybe it felt different to me as I shed away from my previous job to embark on a new one. It is days like this which makes me want to restore order in my life.

I told myself that I want to:
- be more self conscious
- not lose my cool regardless of any circumstances
- have spend more quality time with my family
- start an actual saving plan for my retirement.
- have time in the morning to eat proper breakfast
- be early on all occasions
- have that essential 8 hours of sleep everyday
- do my laundry before the basket over flows
- keep my room tidy

I have a few more points to add to the list but I can't remember all of them. Actually, I think what I want to achieve is just basics of what a responsible adult should possess. Yup, I have to admit that I am kinda failure in that sense. I just turned 24 this year and I live in the mentality of a 18 yr old. I am not ready for adulthood, yet like many others, I was thrown into the society and learn how to battle with my own differences. Oh, I had a bumpy one and I'm more ready than ever to smooth things out! *Beams*

Will update more about my new job in my next entry. :)

The 6 months hiatus

2007-05-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

Gosh... Blogger almost shut down my account. I had to go on a 6 months hiatus from blogging (or doing anything on leisure) due to the long working hours of my current job. My writing skill has deteriorated (yup... I have to spell check this word), so pardon me on those grammar errors. There are so much to express over the past 6 months.

I moved from the Shenton Way Torture House to the Teletubbies Innovating Lab (TIL is filled with tubby people). It was sure an interesting experience, but I wouldn't say I had hell of a time. (More like just HELL...) I have got this weirdo who would just sit behind me and watched me work quietly. And the other thing that freaked me out, he found my blog address from friendster (I didn't even add him to my list) and read every single entry in it. He did warned me about TIL being something like (or even worse) the SWTH but I just pushed his comments aside. 6 months down the road, I had to admit it.. He was right.

Right now, serving my month's notice (yes yes... you don't have to repeat yourself, I am "job hopping") and pretty much invisible and valueless in the tubby's eyes, I realised why I even think this is the perfect job for me initially. The new designers are eager to please and with the boss, they are practically rubbing each other's ego. Trust me, I used to feel that way before when I actually felt that there was such a nice/ compassionate boss in the midst of all that cruel practicality in our society. Well... It didn't take very long to break down that facade. Life works in cycles.

I am moving on my new job with an open mind and I had to overcome my punctuality issues (erhmmm "overcome" is not strong enough a word, the right word is "erradicate"). It is going to be a 9am-6pm kinda job so I am going to have more work life balance aka social life after work.

Backside itchy
--------------
Actually the fortune teller told me to stay put in my current job cause my luck will change for the better beginning next year. But I trust in God that he placed this job offer in front of me as alternative to get out of the situation I was in. I'll leave it to God and the fortune teller to face off as I find out about the truth (if I am actually happy with my new job) in a few month's time.

P.S.: I am rooting for God! Amen...

Queen - It's A Hard Life

2006-12-20T17:46:00.000+08:00

Well, it's an old sappy, emo song everyone can relate to once in a while...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Queen - It's A Hard Life

Words and music by Freddie Mercury

I don't want my freedom
There's no reason for living with a broken heart

This is a tricky situation
I've only got myself to blame
It's just a simple fact of life
It can happen to anyone

You win - you lose
It's a chance you have to take with love
Oh yeah - I fell in love
And now you say it's over and I'm falling apart

It's a hard life
To be true lovers together
To love and live forever in each others hearts
It's a long hard fight
To learn to care for each other
To trust in one another right from the start
When you're in love

I try and mend the broken pieces
I try to fight back the tears
They say it's just a state of mind
But it happens to everyone

How it hurts - deep inside
When your love has cut you down to size
Life is tough - on your own
Now I'm waiting for something to fall from the skies
And I'm waiting for love

Yes it's a hard life
Two lovers together
To love and live forever in each others hearts
It's a long hard fight
To learn to care for each other
To trust in one another - right from the start
When you're in love

Yes it's a hard life
In a world that's filled with sorrow
There are people searching for love in ev'ry way
It's a long hard fight
But I'll always live for tomorrow
I'll look back on myself and say I did it for love
Yes I did it for love - for love - oh I did it for love

A Clown's Life

2006-12-20T02:22:00.000+08:00

Cry as you might... You'll still hear the laughter, for He cannot differentiate your joy from your cries.

The life of a clown is full of mockeries. The show will be over in no time...

Rainy days and Mondays...

2006-12-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

Last night I had a dream... I dreamt that I was led into a church by my partner (I don't know the identity though. The face was "blurred"), where my friends and family were gathered. Instead of joining the congregation, I was led to a room where a beautiful wedding gown sat in the middle of it and my partner turned to me and said, "Surprise?"

Surprised, indeed! I was jolted awake abruptly and got up, only to realise that I'm extremely late for work again. Half cursing myself for ignoring the alarm clocks and half curious to find out how the dream would actually end, I started another MONDAY.

I got to the office, switch on my computer, read my emails and continue the dreaded project I am on. Somehow, I wanted the dream to be intepretated so this is what I found out based on the keywords, "Walking into your own wedding"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking

To dream that you are walking with ease, represents the way you are moving through life and progress toward your goals. Consider your destination.

To dream that you have difficulties walking, indicates that you are reluctant and hesitant in proceeding forward in some situation. You may also be trying to distance yourself from certain life experiences. The difficulty in walking is a reflection of your current situation and the obstacles that you are experiencing.

Wedding

To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.

To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life.

To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.

If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly.

Wedding Dress

To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship.

To see someone else wearing a wedding dress, suggests that you are feeling inferior or unworthy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

How to interprete the dream? Making a guess... It's not exactly a good omen.

This explains my emotion woes

2006-12-19T12:15:00.000+08:00

MY MARS+VENUS MATCH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mars: aries
Venus: aries

You've got a fiery temper — but once it burns out, you're sweet again. You're impatient and impulsive, so your lovers must be quick, quick, quick with their minds, actions and affections.

Your Mars is in aries You're unbelievably forthright — independent, impulsive and prone to bursts of fury. Since you crave action, you don't always consider long-term issues when starting a relationship. Your partnerships are brief but incredibly passionate — you want who you want in the moment.

Your Venus is in aries You love attention — not just for your daring acts, but simply for who you are. You aren't possessive or jealous. However, you do insist on being the top priority in your mate's life, even if the relationship is brief. Independence, power and lust will always be important in your partnerships.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HIS MARS+VENUS MATCH
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mars: pisces
Venus: pisces

You're the Zen master of the zodiac — tough but mysterious. Nothing's too good for your lover, but think of yourself occasionally. It isn't selfish to take care of yourself.

Your Mars is in pisces Nothing is too good for your lover. You'll throw everything away for an unrequited love and never regret it. Passion is your strongest suit, but you do know when to back away from an ill fit. A true romantic, your every action is colored by emotion. An intellectual mate is your best chance for balance.

Your Venus is in pisces Unimpressed by the real world, you like magic and mystery in your life. You believe in soul mates, love at first sight and happily ever after. You've got an amazing depth of feeling, but often forget to guard your tender heart. Since you crave companionship, beware of becoming overly dependent on an uncaring mate.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The predictions are pretty accurate. See the difference? Perhaps I'm really not worthy of his love.

You can get your MARS + VENUS MATCH
here

The grave of LOVE

2006-11-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Have you ever look at your parents' relationship and secretly tell yourself that you will never allow your future marriage to turn out the same way as your parents'? I have... In fact, I have been constantly taking pointers, what to avoid, what to do, etc. Actually I bet my mom did the same thing when she was my age but things still turned out the way it did. So I guess when my time comes, history will gladly repeats itself?

So what usually happens?

Boy meets girl and falls in love. The "wonderful" courtship starts. After a period of time, they decided to get married for whatsoever reasons (maternity instinct, wedlock, housing grant, pressure from parents, etc). Happy honeymoon follows, and with a regular sex life, they bore off-springs. Then the finger pointing starts. The problem ranges from, who to pay for various bills to how to split the house work. This usually ends up in quarrels, occasional wailing, threats to commit sucide or divorce, a big tight slap across the face and eventually... sleeping seperately. Give cold shoulder to each other for the next few days, then have make-up sex. Everything is back to normal again... Well, at least until the next fight.

No wonder they said that Marriage marks the grave of Love.

The Pussy's sweet vengence...

2006-10-22T05:11:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder why some people adore cats? One owner told me that cats are easy to maintain and they will only come to you when they need food and some TLC. So in that sense, cats are considered smarter as compared to dogs. Why? Cause they don't pledge their loyalty to anyone. And they don't have to do stupid tricks to get treats. All they have to do is to purr, stare up with their big round eyes and rub their furry heads against you to hint that it's time to give them their basic needs.

So what happens to the neglected pet locked out by her owner? Simple, she just try to get whatever she needs from her owner's neighbours! My neighbour's cat apparently lacks alot of loving and it yearns for affection desperately. Every time I walked along the corridor (kitty's territory) she'll leap out from behind the flower pots and sprawl out her body to dominate the walkway. When I tried to walk pass her, she'll take the opportunity to rub her head against my feet! It's so annoying. Plus the missing patches of fur on her body makes it looks as if she has infection or something. So I tried my best to ignore her.

I guess she noticed that too (smart kitty). She changed her strategy. This is what she did. The moment she sensed that i'm out of the lift, she ran all the way to the lift and follow me. I have no choice by to stroke her a bit. She utterly enjoyed it as she twirled across the corridor. Until... She decided that she had enough. She turned around and bit me on my calf. Afterwhich, it continue to stare at me with that "har! I still have the last laugh" look... Ergh!!! I was so annoyed! I wanted to step on her tail!!! (nah.. I wouldn't do that.. Just words of angst)She has just crossed my line... and I will never ever touch her again!!! Purr off you pussy!!!

Doodle - Starry Eyed Surprise

2006-10-22T04:40:00.000+08:00

Doodle - Starry Eyed Surprise
Originally uploaded by ECID*NAC.

Inspired by "Starry Eyed Surprise" - DJ Paul Oakenfold

Doodle - Blue

2006-10-19T04:48:00.000+08:00

Doodle - Blue
Originally uploaded by ECID*NAC.

Erh... This turned out horrible!!! She looks like a tranny right? I hope the next artwork will turn out better. :P

Doodle - Purple

2006-10-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

Doodle - Purple
Originally uploaded by ECID*NAC.

It has been a long while since I last doodle. I was thinking of doing a series based on colours. Well, here's the first.

Happy 1st year anniversary to the survivor

2006-09-26T14:37:00.000+08:00

Today marks my 1st year in the Shenton Way Torture House. And on this day, I submitted my resignation letter. There can't be a better way to mark this anniversary...

I shall spare you guys the complaints. But as a word of caution. Please do not work in the Shenton Way Torture House, which is located at 78 Shenton Way. I can't specifically tell you where it is. I can roughly tell you that they are dealing with IT, and their company name is super cheesy which bare resemblence to the alias name I gave them.

All the best to myself! *Pat my own shoulder*

2006-09-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

Finally, our very GENEROUS boss have approved our plead for namecards.

Balls to you, ViVi.... For being the cheapskate you are and refusing to pay your "part-timer" in time of need. Karma will catch up with you... eventually...

Melt down.

2006-08-22T17:52:00.000+08:00

I'm melting down... Fast... I don't know how much longer can I be optimistic especially when failures kept coming your way. For one I know. I have failed as a designer. My designs are cliche, unattractive as often criticized. Someone hinted that my review at the end of the year ain't gonna be good. I'm not a good worker though I'm really trying my very best to be one. I have bloody tight deadlines at work and I have been working far too much OT. I just had a heated arguement with my superior yesterday (there goes the review!). My job hunt went in no avail and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life in future. Cause everytime I made a plan, there'll bound to be cock-ups and eventually leads to the big failure. So tell me, how many times can you tell yourself that you believe in yourself when you failed time after time?

Plus, the hectic schedule is taking a toll on my personal life. My pile of laundry is overflowing the basket and as usual, my room is in a mess. And it has been 4 days since I last saw my bro at home.

For all that, I'm tired. I'm frustrated. And I'm depressed. I wished I have the courage to end my life now and it didn't have to be a sin.

I told people that I'm cruising on stress, as if I can really handle it well. But I don't... 'cause I'm human too...

Lemmiwinks broke her leg :(

2006-08-19T04:45:00.000+08:00

Lemmiwinks really has a hard life with me, her utterly irresponsible owner. She nearly drowned 9 months ago while I tried to bath her.

Guess what... I was changing her bedding just now and I realised Lemmi was limping. I thought she had a tumour or something under her belly but I dispelled the thought as soon as I see that her right hind leg was generally inactive. I froze momentarily, and silently examined her moves. So I pick her up (she never let me hold her) and surprisingly, she was tamed enough for me to transfer her to a transparent plastic tank. Afterwhich, I looked under the plastic tank to check out what causes her to limp.

To my horror, she has indeed broken her leg. It was so bad that the bone was protuding out of her fur and she is just running across the tank as usual. I have absolutely no idea how she got the fracture and it is my fault that I didn't discover it earlier. I'm really lost now. I'm not sure if I should bring her to a vet. It's too late to treat the fracture now and I'm afraid that the vet will suggest to put her to sleep. With that, the guilt of my neligence kicked in and somehow, the thought of bringing Lemmi and Cream to the SPCA crossed my mind. I really want to slap myself for being such bummer. But no. No SPCA for them. As cheesy as it may sound, "Pets are for life". Now that Lemmi has to live the rest of her life with the handicap, I'll care for her till she breath her last.

And one more thing. I promised myself that I'm not going to keep any pets in future after these 2 fur balls. It's has really been heart breaking to see them sick, dying or hurt. Plus, I'm an utterly lousy excuse of a pet owner.

The story of the lost sheep

2006-08-10T03:38:00.000+08:00

Every lost sheep needs to find a shepherd to be led back to its herd.

Me, the very lost sheep, has been going round the same pasture for some time now. The grass seems dry and unappetizing, but my shepherd has yet to find me. So I'll dwell for a little longer. The grass is, of course, greener on the other side of the hill. But it's an area which I have never ever thought of treading into. Now... this confused sheep is very much allured by the temptation yet rather afraid of the potential danger waiting at the other side of the hill. Will her shepherd actually be at there? Will there be big hungry wolves roaming (after all, the grass looks rather ungrazed)? Will she be more lost then she did before? Or perhaps she'll find a new herd to join?

The sheep has decided. She'll go over to the other side, once the dry and unappetizing grass runs out. Baaaaaa..... :)

Straight from the heart...

2006-07-25T01:31:00.001+08:00

Recently there has been so much positive energy around me, it's hard for me to be depress any longer. I'm grateful for those who showered loads of encouragement upon me. Because you guys believed in me, I have to push myself to work harder and start believing in myself. Thanks for the helping hand, one and all, for pulling me out of troubled waters. I have yet to succeed. But when I do, your kind words will not be forgotten cause you guys will always be kept close to my heart...

Tear-stained pillow...

2006-07-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

Why do my tears flow freely as I think of him? I'm such a wreck without him. But we can't bring ourselves to live with each other. I am not even sure if i'm doing the best for the both of us. He doesn't understand why I am doing this. It seems like he is taking it easy, like nothing ever happened.

Our 4 years... filled with bits of bitterness and sweet. We're always have the best intentions for each other, just that we can't compromise. He can't stand me being "ms jerkyl and hyde", I can't stand the ways he push his opinions onto me. We are constantly going against each other. I know we could go on, till we reach the destination we set in the beginning. But I can foresee it'll be tough to keep the relationship together due to our differences.

It is painful. Really painful. But I guess it'll be best for the both of us...

For all the wrong reasons.

2006-07-17T17:56:00.000+08:00

A long lost friend of mine confided in me recently. He has been facing relationship problems for 2 years now. The tricky part is that, he's married. He said that he has lost feelings for his wife because her attitude, behavior, etc.
His list of woes included: the wife being
- not understanding
- over-suspicious
- over-sensitive
- dictating
- a control freak
These are the common complaints men have on their missus. Personally, I feel that his marriage started on the wrong foot.

It boils down to the reason, why do couples even get married? Of course, the morally-correct and stereo-typical reason is that these couples do want to spend the rest of their lives together lovingly, as mentioned in almost all fairy tales as the “happily ever after” kind of ending. However, for my friend, his core reason is all different. His is out of filial piety. His father was diagnosed with cancer and wished to see him “settled down” before he passed on. So my friend, hastily got a decent girl, dated her for less than a year before marrying her. He told me that he is sacrificing his happiness to fulfill his father’s death wish and he will do his duty as a good husband. Frankly, to me, that’s definitely not the right reason to get married.

I have already given up in talking him into counseling. He is just waiting for his wife to give up on the marriage. It’s another sad ending, another one to add up to the already rising statistics.

I am the walrus...

2006-07-06T15:06:00.000+08:00

Good o' Beatles of the psychedelic era. Their lyrics colourful, whimsical yet perplex. They saw Lucy in the sky, met The Nowhere Man, travelled in the Yellow Submarine and rescued Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band from the evil Meanies. Perhaps life open up a new perspective once you befriend Booze and Narcotics. Well, anyway, I have just put up one of the Beatles' numbers (with the queerest lyrics I have ever heard) on my blog. I figure, it has many many puns intended, hmmm... so how or rather...

I Am The Walrus - The Beatles

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister City Policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying.
I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

Let tomorrow worry for itself...

2006-06-23T05:04:00.000+08:00

Phew! I've finally completed all my "tasks". My room is in an utterly outrageous state of mess (what's new?). Hmmph.. I wish that was the only thing that's messed up right now (Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.). Well, anyway, I spend the whole night wrapping pressie for one of my dearest colleague, Pearlyn, who will be leaving my company real soon.

Some of my friends asked, "Wah! How many farewell parties this month huh?". Seriously, I have already stopped counting how many farewell parties/ dinner/ lunch/ gathering I have attended even since I got recruited into the Shenton Way Torture House. After all, numbers are just statistics.

So, when's my turn to ORD from the Torture House? Well, until I find another slave-driver who can offer me better welfare or at least until I find my direction out of this place. However, this is not one of the most pressing problems I'm facing right now.

The situation I'm in requires me to "subtly warn" aka "urge" one of my more junior colleague to change her working attitude. And of course, it wasn't my idea... Yet, I have to kill some few million brain-cells to think about how to put the message to her without straining our working relationship (and also budding friendship) and also to consider if she will take the comments negatively. So I have decided to let out the "warning" little by little. The aftermath is always ugly lah. She seemed quite affected by it. Who wouldn't be, right? :(

Since now i'm just left with 2 hours to sleep before I head down for work, I'm contemplating should I even sleep. My brain is zoning out this very minute... I... I... I just wanna let tomorrow worry for itself....... ZZZzzz............ *snores* (I bet the next thing I know, I'll be very very very very late for work) :P

Black boy's poem

2006-06-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,

When I sick, I Black,

And when I die, I still black..

And you White fella,.....

When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray..

And you call me Colored ??

Once a bastard, always a bastard.

2006-06-09T12:32:00.000+08:00

Well, Happy birthday. And I still think you are a bastard.

So long. Farewell.

2006-06-03T04:56:00.000+08:00

It has come the time when I have to bid farewell to my work buddy, Zhiwei, as he moves on to pursue further studies. I left the farewell dinner with mixed feelings. Hmmm... Perhaps a little sad. Afterall, he is quite a humourous guy. I guess it's just weird not having someone to "talk cock" with when the work stress builds up. Plus, I think he's about the only person who will give me a "morning call" religiously every weekday morning just to make sure that I'm not too late for work (but often I still can't resist the temptation of my bed and end up falling back to sleep). I think we make a great team cause he has such positive work attitude that spurs me to improve one design after another. And since he is the one shouldering more work load, I guess the baton will be passed down to me soon. The pressure is on now that I'm considered the more "senior" designer. Gee... I have never been a "senior" in any company before and it really feels so weird considering that I have only work in this company for a mere 9 months. My managers had already prompt me on improving my work attitude and also hinting the magnitude of the work load to come. I hope I won't be tearing my hair out or else I'll just end up balding then I'll look even uglier than how I already am. :( *Fingers crossed*

Oh! On a happier note, today Jordan and I went to St Gregory Spa. It was our first Spa experience and we enjoyed it tremendously! Wah damn shiok! They gave us facial and full body massage. We even get to use the jacuzzi and steam room! And for once, I really feel damn like a VIP. But of course, VIP treatment and service comes with a relatively hefty price. When I saw the bill, my eyes nearly pop out from their sockets! haha. It's ok lah. Worth the money what. Who can resist the high life man? So what should I do? Be a slave to $ so as to afford this kind of "luxury" loh. :(

Pastel, my hamster

2006-05-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

The bond between pets and their owners is just so ambiguous. People usually own a pet for companionship and in turn, grew attached to them. Animals, on the other hand, just simply grew dependent on their owners for food, shelter and a little bit of TLC. As we, humans, are prone to emotional set backs, we tend to grieve over our pet's death, or in my case, my pet's impending death. Seeing her so frail and weak, leaves me heart broken every time I locate her in her cage. Her hair count is depleting and she can bearly open her eyes. She can't even eat her food properly without occasionally tumbling backwards.

So why am I so attached to her? Because, she is my first hamster. I adopted her about 1 1/2 years ago from my friend, Kel. He is the one who discovered her abandoned by the road side with her cage opened, vulnerable to attacks from cats in the neighbourhood. Her previous owner didn't really take good care of her cause Kel found Ritz biscuit in her food bowl, dirty bedding and she was pretty much ungroomed. So Kel rescued her, feed her proper hamster food and clean her up. But he can't adopt her since he already had quite a few hamsters himself. He then asked if I wanna keep her and I agreed. When Airene and I saw her, we decided to call her "Pastel" due to her light golden fur. Since then, she has been residing in my room. She never fights back, always allow me to hold and stroke her. She's quite an acrobat too. Overtime, I grew real fond of her. And now that her days are numbered, I am left low-spirited. I can't believe she won't be with me any much longer.

Though I feel silly writing all these, I just want to let go of some sorrow in my heart. Pardon me.

De-Sigh-ner

2006-05-13T04:41:00.000+08:00

Having attended the 2006 NAFA Degree Graduation show with my ex-classmates recently, it reminds me that it has well been a year since mine own. Looking at those eager unfamiliar faces of this year's cohort, I wonder how would their careers turn out to be. One year ago, there I was, so full of hope, thinking of all the endless opportunities and career advancement I'll get with my qualifications. Before long, I found out that, it takes alot more than just qualifications to secure a job.

Designers lead a hard life. First, they have got to possess an impressive portfolio and, of course, have relavant work experiences to secure a job. To add icing on the cake, some award certificates, preferably those with a "Crowbar" on it. So what do other fresh grads do if they have no experience and no award to boot? Well, there are companies that are kind enough to hire fresh grads. But they are not willing to pay (to be accurate, the starting pay is usually about 1.2k - 1.5k). The fresh grads will have no choice but to accept it since they are desperate for some experience and commercialise work to top-up their portfolio (cause in our line, no employer really gives a damn about school projects). There designers are required to work long hours, usually with no Over-Time pay, deal with plenty of rejections/ criticism and are required to produce top-notch work.

When the designer is sick and tired of the company's exploitation, he decides to move on. And obviously the figure of the expected salary will rise a bar since now he has some experience and commercialise work in his portfolio. However, the companies in Singapore are so conditioned to the "cheap price" they pay for designers that they assume that they can always hire someone for the same low price. The mentality is "I would rather hire a fresh grad for a lower price than to increase your pay. It's up to you if you wanna leave. Cause designers are so easily available. If not, I'll just engage a freelancer."

So by this time, what do the experience designers do? I thought of a few probabilities:

1) Work even harder and strive to be a Creative Director (It'll usually be harder if you are not blessed with blonde hair, blue eyes or speak with an accent)
2) Specialize in an art/design skill and polish it to perfection. Then apply to be a lecturer in some art colleges. (That depends on what kind of skill-sets are in demand)
3) Consider making a career switch if you are money-minded. Cause the design line is not where the money is.
4) Continue to endure the exploitation. By the time you are 35, you will realised that you are heading nowhere except that your body is growing sideways and your eyebags are comparable to those of a Bubble Eye goldfish. Perhaps even face retrenchment to make way for new blood.

Up till date, I haven't met any local designers who are above 35. Presumably, designer's career life-span will no last over 35 years of age. Considering the fact that 30s is the prime time in any adult's life (think starting a family, buying a HDB flat and ideally owning a car), it will not a good time to be out of job. By then, the "veteran" of design would have been considered useless and it will be too late to start carving a career in a different field.

All in all, I don't see the situation changing for the better anytime soon. Hence, I'm so utterly caught in a dilemma to give up or not to. I know there are others like me too. If only we can unite, speak up for ourselves and protect our fellow "comrades" (especially freelancers) from unreasonable abuse.

That's just my naiveness. It's not possible. We are all selfish cowards in our own right.

The Peanuts vs Carrots election

2006-05-06T04:22:00.000+08:00

To be frank, I am a little disappointed at the issues raised at the election rallies. The PAP didn't pin-point the exact problems that we (read average joes and janes) faced but tempted us with, as the media phrased it, "dangling carrots" (aka upgradings). The Opposition parties (SDA, SDP, WP) voiced out concerns that, I must admit, strikes a chord in my heart.

However, the future looks bleak with the Opposition and I have my reserves about their promises. Why? From my point of view, it would be the lack of resources. So with insufficient resources, how are they going to improve our lives? But then again, it brings me to another point. Why are funds distributed unevenly between the parties? Don't they have a common pool of funds that they can utilise based on the size of their constituencies? The PAP can promise residents living in Hougang up to $100,000,000 worth of up-grading programmes. And yes. That's alot alot of money. Have anyone ever thought about if this sum of money is well-spent for up-grading purposes? Wouldn't it be better if that money is used to subsidise transport costs and maybe provide a bit of relief for the needy amongst our fellow Singaporeans? Well for that cause, I guess it'll be alright for the majority of us not to have revamped lift-landings or beautiful landscape gardens. Or to some, maybe not. After all, Singaporeans are quite well-known for being practical (these days, even foreigners living here are influenced too).

All in all, I feel that the Election Campaigning period shouldn't be wasted on blowing minor issues out of proportions (NKF and Gomez episodes). Rather, the focus should be on how to be in-tune with matters at the grassroots and making policies that are beneficial to the society. I am heartened to find that they are finally moving on on the Gomez incident.

The media plays an important part in the election too. Some said they (the media) are biased. But I think otherwise. Most of the reports I read were not misleading. I mean, search your heart. Who doesn't want to look their best when the camera is pointing at them? And you don't get to see your MPs scrubbing your void deck floors everyday, do you? We wouldn't know what is Wayang until we fail to see results. Besides that, I must thank the gift of technology for helping voters like me access alternative views and highlights to the rallies. By the way, check out the
massive crowd at the Hougang field rally.

Okay. It's almost 6am now. And the poll centers will be opening its floodgates in about 2 hours time. I'm going to get some winks before I go down and mark that X on the polling card. Yup, I have made up my mind. I would love to reveal my choice but voting is secret. So sshhhh... By the way, dear voters, do go with your heart. Give the parties a run for their money.

(P/S: Btw, SDP got an interesting take on why the distribution of their newsletter got disrupted. FYI, it's not about the Peanuts)

Hello I'm a Mac. Hello I'm a PC.

2006-05-05T02:33:00.000+08:00

A Mac user has his perks. Check out what they are!

CLICK HERE to view the new series of Mac ads.

All the reasons you'll love your Mac. And maybe that's why Mac users are so cocky. Anyways, I'm so loving mine! :)

Uphill ride for the oppositions?

2006-05-03T02:39:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the CNA website and I saw this:

Clean sweep for PAP a likely outcome in this election?

Quote:
"Whether the new Parliament will be controlled totally by the ruling party, one thing is becoming sure. THIS ELECTION IS GOING TO BE A SAD STORY OF AN OPPOSITION THAT WORKED SO HARD BUT FAILED AT THAT FINAL WHISTLE."

And come Polling Day, whether my friend (PM Lee Hsien Loong) is proven right or wrong about a clean sweep by PAP, the Opposition is likely to return home dejected.

The sandstorm in our politics desert

2006-05-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

Come Saturday, 06/05/06, is the General Election. Around my neighborhood, campaign banners have been put up, some parties more “kiasu” than the other. The media made endless reports on on-going rallies. Among them, many issues have been raised and, their solutions, promised to be fulfilled. Some claimed to dig skeletons out of their competitor’s closet, while others are just brewing storms in teacups. Well, during the election period, anything goes.

I wonder, what would first time voters, like myself, be concerned about?
Generally, my peers are considerably nonchalant about politics and are still un-interested in the election. Try posting them a question like, “What is the name of our Minister for Health?” The answer will most probably go “Erh… I don’t know.” “Which parties are contesting for your area?” “Eh… Not sure, but the logo is the one with the red circles and PAP loh.”

This is a phenomenon. I am no sociologist to judge if this ignorance is healthy to our country, but personally I feel that young Singaporeans should at least know a little about our country’s political background and culture before voting blindly. After all we are part of the One People, One Nation, One Singapore right?

Wonder Woman in training

2006-04-25T19:49:00.000+08:00

Everything just went so wrong today! It's feels like I'm shouldering menhirs. It's my dad's birthday today. Bad enough that I can't make it on time for the dinner with my family. Worse, I'm being imprisoned in the Torture House till I'm done with "urgent" matters. In addition to that, I'm suppose to perform magic tonight by churning out revisions for my freelance project as well as complete my personal interactive portfolio. Yes, something big is happening tomorrow... It could be my chance to break free from the shackles of the Torture House. Better clasp my hands and pray hard. :P

How to make yourself blush in 10 steps?

2006-04-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

Step 1: Accumulate bowels in your system for 2 days
Step 2: Invite a friend to the gym with you and suggest to attend a Pilate class
Step 3: Make sure your friend lay his mat near to yours
Step 4: Attempt to hold a potentially loud fart while warming up
Step 5: Tighten the your abdomens, rolling forward with your back on the floor, still holding the fart
Step 6: Roll back and relax abs, while uncontrollably let out a loud "toot"
Step 7: Look around to see if anyone noticed
Step 8: Your friend sniggered upon eye contact and eventually erupted into raucous laughter
Step 9: Noticed that the others in class bit their lips hard to repress their laughter
Step 10: With the whole class distracted, the instructor gave you a reproaching frown

Soccer Fever

2006-04-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

soccer fever
Originally uploaded by ECID*NAC.

Hey hey... This is my first full-body illustration done solely on Photoshop. Btw, I'm not such a soccer fan lah. Just 'cos I'm doing the website for a local soccer fan club.

No... She not from Hogwarts.

2006-03-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Ah... The serenity of the night. The twinkling stars. The crescent moon. All contrasting against the backdrop of the dark dark sky. I sipped my tea and stared out of the window. The streets were randomly decorated with the headlights of vehicles cruising along. I took another sip of tea, gently massaged my temples and headed back to base: The Shenton Way Torture House.

The Witch stood akimbo at the door, tapping her feet impatiently awaitng my return. I sensed danger. The Witch hissed. I stood still. I could see her flapping fork tongue and ivory fangs. She did her dirty deed and flew off on her broom stick.

The venom cause much agony. But that has to be casted aside. Cause the show must go on. The show will go on.

But not for long.

Living a Scoorge life

2006-03-09T01:12:00.000+08:00

"Am I missing out on the finer things in life?"

I have been reflecting. This question creeps quietly into my head recently. I am going breathless with the amount of work I have to cope, my personal financial woes each month, and the most taxing problem of all, relationships.

Over these 2 months, a series of occasions have passed: 3 birthdays (Jordan's, Bro's and mine), Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, the Oasis concert. Birthdays are times to be thoughtful and sweet and considerate and all so sugar-spice-and-everything-nice to these important people in my life. But I have been such a bum, thinking that easy-does-it. I prepared no present, no proper planning of celebration, worst of all, no enthusiasm. I must be oblivious to how much they tried to mask their disappointment.

Then came the Oasis concert. Yet again, there I was. Nonchalant. While Liam was singing, tossing his tambourine into the audience crowd, I could only whine about stinky B.O., sweaty bodies and the swell forming on my little left toe from all that accidental stomping on my feet. But what I should be caring about is how much He is willing to sacrifice for us to go the concert, how much He wants me to enjoy the night with him, how happy I would be to see Oasis perform live…

However, the self-centered ME did not get my retribution when it was my birthday. Instead, I was showered with presents, nice surprises and luxurious indulgences. Jordan took me out on such an extravagant date. Better not mention how much he spent. Heh.., My bro actually brought me a present with his savings! Lindt, whom I totally forgot about her birthday this year, remembers mine. She couriers her present all the way to my office! Can you believe it? And I made all my dear Choppies waited on an empty stomach for hours. I foiled a nice dinner plan that they actually took effort to work out. They even bought be this really elegant costume jewelry set they know I cannot afford.

It’s not about how much the present cost. Nor is it about the aesthetics of gifts. It’s all about the warm and fuzzy feeling that is left within you. Now, that’s priceless!

Ever since my birthday, I felt guilt buzzing in my thoughts. Frankly, I don’t deserve these niceties, especially when I am not giving.

So tell me, am I turning into a lean, mean and cold work maniac? I pray not.

(P/S: Pictures featuring an Oasis concert hand-band, my very own customised hand-painted t-shirt and me with the very hand-some Jordan. :P)

Ang Bao many many, everyone!

2006-01-27T11:05:00.000+08:00

I started today in a fairly happy mood. First of all, I'm early for work today (Yah, believe me! My colleagues thought they were hallucinating/ dreaming/ hynotised too! Gawd...). Since CNY is just around the corner, we wanted to amuse ourselves by blasting weird CNY music (Fusion of traditional and modern elements?) through our computer speakers, and laughed our heads off the moment the Or-Biang music transmit into our office air wave!

My boss, however, isn't really in the CNY mood (well, i think he's never in mood for anything). Probably no half-day or ang bao then. Sigh. Well, let it not dampen our spirits. Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone! Eat more pineapple tarts and bak kwa! Yummy Yum!

Feels like.. SCHOOL.. all over again.

2006-01-25T08:07:00.000+08:00

It feels like a blast from the past. Eyelids heavy, impending headache, sore back, all the result of an overnight stay in the Shenton Way Torture Camp. I only managed to sleep fitfully on a highly uncomfortable make-shift bed (made up of 3 office chairs in a row). When I stared up at the ceiling made of white chip-wood board and long florescent light bulbs, only one thing came to my mind... It feels an awful lot like school all over again. Every DMD student (ex or current)is no stranger to those late nights, crazy datelines to meet and working over night in the Project Studio. Hmmm... Maybe it is only right for the school to prepare the students for the industry AKA the real world. I mean, just look at me now...

Anyway, the night's effort ain't fruitless. Here's the outcome.

The thing about friends...

2006-01-22T03:32:00.000+08:00

I sometimes find I have too high an expection of myself. There are a million and one things I would like to achieve, to fulfill, to be dare to dream about. However, I am, sadly, an under-achiever. Or maybe I just lack the passion and drive to go all the way out to be what I want to be. I never have hit perfection, it's always the "Ok, pass can already" attitude. Yeah, I do feel like a loser sometimes. I can't seem to get anything right. From playing poor pool (for years now) to being an under-paid/ over-worked designer. I don't know my potential seriously. And I want to know. But I can't shed away that bloody "heck it" mindset that has been feasting on my inner self for the past god-knows-how-many donkey years.

However, there are a few things I'm proud of about myself. First on the list, my boyfriend. I think God has been kind to me in that sense. It's not easy to stick by someone through thick and thin, and through these years in our relationship, I realised I actually have a soulmate. It is indeed a blessing.

Secondly, my degree. It was the first time I am pleased with my result and I think I actually worked hard (did I?). I never thought I could do it, and I felt real good at the end of it eventhough I weren't the best.

Thirdly, my friends. They are the soft-spot in my life and I hold them really dear. However, to label someone as a "best friend" just seems rather immaturish to me these days. Don't get me wrong. I'm not an anti-social. I used to have "best friends" too. But what happened to them, I guess I vaguely know. Sometimes you don't know what to expect from a friend. At one point in time, you might be so fucking close, calling each other out everyday, hanging out whenever possible. You'll miss each other. There are endless topics to talk about, and before you knew it, it's day break. Your parents think that you both are homosexual. But then again, not all friendships are bound to last. Those which remain is what I wanna call "priceless". Those which fade did not really vanish totally too. I guess the distance just broaden, with work, with relationships, with different paths we take in life. It hurts. Why can't I have the "heck it" attitude in that? I tried. I failed. I felt my heart sank when my sms were left unanswered. I don't want to be disillusioned into thinking that we are still close when we are obviously not. Yes, I can be a prick sometimes. I guess it has something to do with my expections in them too. Or just maybe I am not such a good friend to them myself.

But hey, nothing in life is certain. Forgive me, I'm just whining.

MAD TV!

2006-01-16T02:48:00.000+08:00

Do check out the classics VIDEOS on for slapstick spoofs and parodies. It cracks me up...

Mission accomplished!

2006-01-12T07:30:00.000+08:00

My eyes are so groggy... Like the monitor in front of me is swirly. It's already time for me to head down to work. *Yawn* After 5 hours of experimenting, here's the new design.. I know the tag board looks funny. Cause it's all squeesh at the bottom due to miscalculation. Guess I'll alter it when I some other time.

NOW, I'll be heading down to TORTURE CAMP in Shenton Way...

Working on a new blog skin

2006-01-12T01:47:00.000+08:00

Finally, I have got my lazy ass of the sofa and start working on my new blog skin design. I have been wanting to change the design for ages now. So tonight, under the influence of the cold chilly rainy night (yeah I know, I should be snuggling in bed under my comforter), I'm going to try to come out with something new. But I haven't have anything in mind. I'll have to meet the Z-monster tomorrow night... Ok.. Maybe later at work, if coffee doesn't perform its miracles.. haha..

Checking out the next dressing room...

2006-01-08T03:38:00.000+08:00

This is the time of the year that I dread the most. The darn one month period before Lunar New Year. Beside the all-so-familiar awful Ching-chong LNY tunes blasting at every possible heartland shopping malls, shoppers are seeing RED everywhere, literally. Wearing red is such a cliche during LNY. Well, at least it is a good chance for retail stores to be bringing out their outdated stocks of whatever in red, maroon, pink, simply anything in the shade of red.

I seriously don't sense the joy of shopping pre-LNY. First of all, I don't like red or orange or maroon, ok, maybe pink and purple is alright. Secondly, I don't like the idea of forcing yourself to buy something. It's like a waste of my money spending on some clothes I won't be wearing very often (eg. the red cheong sam I bought last year). Thirdly, I am disgusted by the very nature of the female gender to out dress each other. You can see the cattiness in each of the ladies' eyes in the fitting room. They will peer over your mirror to check you out. If they think you look good, they will either pick the similar piece to try on or find another item that will outshine yours. Suddenly, the narrow aisle of the fitting area has transformed into a mini-runway. The ladies will be strutting up and down, in and out of the changing rooms, posing in front of the full length mirror, confronted by dilemmas, envy and confusion. And at the end of the day, they will still end up buying more or less the same design, in the few perceived "auspicious" colours. For example, I was queuing up to try on a pair of jeans at Mango. In front of me, I saw 3 ladies trying on identical knitted tops of different sizes. It looks as if they were buying uniforms or something.

Another part of the tradition leading to LNY, which I absolutely loathed, is: SPRING CLEANING! Friends who actually knows me are undeniably convinced that I am a mess. I lived in a "sty" with 3 rodent-like friends (my hamsters). And I actually like my room a little messy, which is in an intolerably unacceptable state to usher in the LNY. So I have to get my ass off the sofa, roll my sleeve up and wipe the dust off the shelves. And the worst part is to bear is... my parents' constant annoying nags...

So all in all, I must sum up that I am going to stay grumpy... Hmmm... At least until the Ang Bao money starts rolling in... haha... *_*

Memoirs of a geisha

2006-01-05T21:17:00.000+08:00

Memoirs of a geisha
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

Never in film history has Asian chicks rock Hollywood on such a massive scale. Haha... Nah.. I'm just exaggerating.. But I think this flick is gonna make us Asian girls ooze extra sex appeal.

There's still exactly 2 more weeks till the film opens. And the anticipation is killing me. I hope the film will be as good as the paperback. It is one of my favourite stories. Though Zhang Zi Yi is the lead actress, somehow I find Gong Li is the one who actually captured my attention. Check out her look in this picture man. It just spells one word, "SEDUCTION".

So girls, to learn the art of seduction, the geisha way, go book a ticket.

Memoirs of a geisha open on 19 January 2006.

Cruella De Vil will enjoy seeing this...

2006-01-03T20:00:00.000+08:00

Cruella De Vil will enjoy seeing this...
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

Whoever ever ever thinks that fur is beautiful? The cavemen donned it. But if given the knowledge to produce cotton, will they still wear fur? With Cruella De Vil as an exception, I bet the average Joe/ Jill like you and me won't find it appealing... Not after watching THIS!!!

*Not for obsessive animal lovers or the faint in the heart. Get the puke bags ready if you can't take gore and blood

Doodle on my phone...

2005-12-30T17:02:00.000+08:00

Doodle on my phone...
Originally uploaded by ECID*NAC.

I was bored...
My phone looks plain...
So... Ta Da!!! There you have it...

Fashion No-no

2005-12-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

This is a brutally funny review on celebrity fashion.

To view, please click
here.

If you as K-P-O as I am, do check out this
link recommended by my colleague. "Fugly is the new PRETTY."

Experiment with PS effects

2005-12-20T05:30:00.000+08:00

Experiment with PS effects
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

I was so traumatized by the Lemmi's incident that I can't sleep... So I end up fooling around with some photoshop effects. Do feel free to drop me any comments. :D

Almost a murderer...

2005-12-20T02:47:00.000+08:00

I was almost a murderer.

Lemmiwinks struggled to keep herself alive just awhile ago...

OK... I nearly drowned her... Maybe I shouldn't have tried to clean her with a wet towel. Then she wouldn't have panicked and jump off my hands into the tub full of water.

It was totally chaotic! She was squeaking and her body was overturned, about 3/4 submerged into the water. To save her, I have to spill the water onto the floor. Then I picked her up with something from my laundry (it was an emergency, remember?). I know how hamsters hate being blow dry with a hair dryer. They will always struggle to avoid the to torturous heat and I'm really guilty that I caused poor Lemmiwinks to go through that agonizing process and also the mental distress caused by the whole accident.

The aftermath was messy. The water spread all over the floor of my room. As a result, I have to pick up my partially wet clothes, soak up the water, mop my room and wash lots of rugs/towels. It's sure tedious! But it's worth it. At least Lemmi is still alive and kicking, running actively on her little wheel. I really pray hard that she'll be alright and not fall sick tomorrow. *Fingers crossed*

What a fantabulous weekend!

2005-12-19T04:06:00.000+08:00

MOS_opening
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

A fantastic weekend is enough to drive all your Monday Blues away... anytime!

FRIDAY
After much anticipation, Ministry of Sound has finally set foot in our sunny little island! The invasion was massive... On the opening night, the Choppies and I actually waited for about 3 hours to get to the front of the queue. The wait was almost in vain 'cause the door bitch was telling us that the club was "Full House". So they will only let the public in when some of the invited guests (those with invites) leave.

But we were lucky, cause we bumped into Yvonne, whose friend got us all invites for the entry! That really save us from having a disastrous evening... Many thanks to our lucky stars, Yvonne and Eugene...

I think Zouk is really gonna face some big time competition. M.O.S. is so much more spacious, has nicer deco, more competitive cover charge, and in my opinion, has a nicer mix of music. They also seperated the genres of music into different rooms. So now, the Choppies don't have to sulk, cos there's something for everyone! Hooray to that!!!

SATURDAY
Saturday was pretty relax. I did crystal tattoo at this block party thingy at West Coast. After that, I met up with Cheryl and Joey to chill out. We did something we haven't done for ages: bowling. Our skills are atrocious! None of our total score actually exceed 100. But nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves! I think Joey and Cheryl are such an adorable couple. It's funny how 2 individuals of different worlds come together and perhaps it's their differences that kept them close. Like what my bro describes, it's The Romance of the Goth-Boy and the Happy-go-lucky-Girl. Spot the difference?

SUNDAY
Finally I managed to get out of my regime of sleeping late on Sunday mornings! My bro and me went to Wild Wild Wet.

It was so crowded. Well, blame it on the school holidays. Damn it. As always, it takes a long time to queue for each slide and we got fed up after awhile. Plus all those people and their fawked-up attitude (kiasu-ism, queue-cutting skills and other socially disguisting behaviours) are not making things any better. So we kept hanging out in the Lazy River and the Wave Pool cause there's no need to queue for our turn.

The water really has some great therapeutic effects on me. When the water carasses your body, it's like a subtle massage, easing the tense muscles, making me forget about all the vexation I had throughout the week. My bro and I like it so much, we were thinking of getting the yearly pass so that we can go more often. But It's really not cheap. *Bawls*

Monday Blues

2005-12-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

Monday Blues
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

It's Monday AGAIN! Dreadful day... Enuff said...

Award winning Joke

2005-12-12T01:36:00.000+08:00

My friend emailed me this. I thought it was kinda lame. Well, I hope it humoured you...

*****

AWARD WINNING JOKE

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."

*****
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.

Racism disrupts peace

2005-12-09T04:15:00.000+08:00

Racism disrupts peace
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

This picture is taken from the movie poster of American History X. If you happened to watch that movie, you would know that it is about how brutal racism can get.

Well, inevitably, discrimination happens in every society. Personally, I feel that every single one of us are guilty of habouring prejudice at some point in time.

For example: I really detest English-speaking Chinese(read SINGAPOREANS) who proudly proclaims that they really suck at their Mandarin usage. Afterwhich, delibrately attempt to speak a few words in their broken Mandarin and chuckle away. I mean, come on, if their Mandarin is as sucky as how they put it, why try to embarass themselves? As a result, making a mockery out of the language and an absolute fool of themselves. It's already bad enough that they don't have sufficient understanding of their own mother tongue. Why emplify your shortcoming? *Shrugs*

A friend was talking to me about racism over dinner just now. He was kinda put away by the * race. So much so that he started stigmatizing their common religion and scruntizing facts and reports to prove his point. I feel that it is really unfair to be judging and stereotyping a certain race based on some notorious behaviour from the black sheeps of the community. I could say that I am not exactly a racist. But I dislike certain people of certain races because I detest their behaviour, and not their race or religion. I hope my dear friend Q will learn how to draw the line between personal prejudice and racism. You'll never know. You might have to work under a * race superior in future. Ha ha,,, And what if the society rejects the un-beautiful like you and me?

Better equip yourself with armour before we get stoned!

She has gotten my attention!

2005-12-06T20:52:00.000+08:00

She got my attention!
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

My confession:
I think this is superficially the prettiest Singaporean I have ever ever came across.

In case you got me wrong, I seriously think this girl is some major eye-candy. And considering the fact that she actually graduated from RJC, I bet she's no bimbo. I mean, who can resist looking at someone so beautiful? My colleague told me that there's speculations about her beauty being artificial. But what the heck. She's still hell of a babe. Yeah! Haha!

Do check out her
blog.

deadpigs

2005-11-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

deadpigs
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

Look at these 3 lifeless beings!! At 5am in the morning, the Choppies had finally surrender themselves to the temptation of the Z-monster. I bet they were dreaming about the fun time we had prancing around the club, grinning at each other like idiots and danced till our legs went sore... heh heh.. Sleep tight girls! *poofs*

Kick that crave, you fat-ass!

2005-11-08T04:02:00.000+08:00

Kick that crave, you fat-ass!
Originally uploaded by
candice_dymphna_ng.

How do anyone lose 5kgs in a week?
Hmm.. As impossible as it may seem, I'm going to attempt the feat. Well, blame it on the sudden bomb that dropped on me. Don't ask me what. I'm not going to say. It's kinda embarassing to tell too, especially for when it happens to such a girl like me. So I'm going to bid farewell to all the goodies and embrace all you lean mean greenies~! *Yucks*

Wisdom, the unseen

2005-11-07T01:26:00.000+08:00

Why is Wisdom a she?
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

Wisdom 6:12-16

Wisdom is found by those who look for her

Wisdom is bright, and does not grow dim.
By those who love her she is readily seen,
and found by those who look for her.
Quick to anticipate those who desire her, she makes herself known to them.
Watch for her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her sitting at your gates.
Even to think about her is understanding fully grown;
be on alert for her and anxiety will quickly leave you.
She herself walks about looking for those who are worthy of her
and graciously shows herself to them as they go,
in every thought of theirs coming to meet them...

Garfield, are u my lost twin?

2005-11-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

Garfield, are you my lost twin?
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

This is why I love Garfield. We have such similar personalities.

There's so much of myself in you, as you are in me

2005-11-04T02:36:00.000+08:00

There's so much of myself in you, as you are in me
Originally uploaded by candice_dymphna_ng.

I can't deny that I do enjoy spending time with my bro. Frankly, I look forward to spending a big part of my time at home with my one and only sibling.

Most of my friends who actually have huge age-gaps with their siblings face the problem of communicating with them. Actually, I am afraid that this could be an issue I'll be facing in future. You know, kids in their adolescence stage, have so-called teenage angst. This little angelic kid-brother of mine might turn into just another rebellious prat. Then he'll find it's uncool to hang out with his sister who is 10 years his senior. He'll probably forbid me to hold his hand, to acknowledge him as "Boy-Boy", to pick up his phone-calls, to meet his friends...But so far, he's still pretty much in control.

Never is there a dull moment with him around though. I wish we can enjoy everyday just like today. It was a simple day. We had a good Lunner (erhmm.. you know, like the fusion of lunch and dinner?), went to Kino, got some books, had fried Mars bars, tried our luck on a couple of capsule toys then headed home.

On our way back, my brother turned to me and said, "Hey sis, erhmm, I just wanna thank you for today. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in a long time." Right... He's appreciative of me. And that's a priceless gift to me. That's what made an ordinary day, a special day to remember. ;D

retrospect

2005-11-02T03:06:00.000+08:00

I recollect:
Your rhythmic breathing close to me...
resembling a wordless lullaby, lulling me into slumber

I reminisce:
The glee in your eyes...
such child-like anticipation...
There! You've spotted the Ben & Jerry's stand

I enshrine:
Those words from other end of the phone line...
Telling me to dry my eyes, the world is not the end with you by my side

I envision:
Endless list of ridiculous names
Jude, Jordice, Jordan Jr... and many many more

I hold dear:
The hope, the promise, the adoration,
the faith, the friendship, the trust, the passion,
the tenderness, the moment, the emotion,
But most of all,
Your hand on mine through every season

Extract from Mei's blog

2005-10-27T13:22:00.000+08:00

I got this off my friend's blog. I really like it cause it's sort of a reflection of my feelings too. Beautiful stuff...

artist.
artist love to express themselves.
unknowingly
perhaps through writing,
perharps through singing,
perharps through drawing,
perharps all the time but you dun realise it.
they are artist. they love to express themselves.
yet not all pple love their works.
they do wat they like and in a way expressing who they are.
u dun need everyone's approval, cos that's the truth. even there's no one, u know at the end of the day u are happy with wat u are doing.
yup, and jus by explaining wat u are expressing, it's already a joy.
till one finds favour, oh~ ur whole world suddenly jus paints with colorful rainbows.
i love being who i am.
i love telling them the beaty i am painting. i wish someday they see the beauty i see.
all are artist. they are.
they are creatures, only artists accepts.

=)

It about the passion...

2005-10-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

I have been kind of busy lately... Juggling a full-time job and some freelance assignments. Busy round the clock and missing out on quite alot of sleep. Somehow I still feel the adrenelin pumping and I wanted more... More of this satisfaction I get from completing an assignment and getting professional reviews (both positive and negative). It makes me grow in my creative sense and in my character. I guess this is what defines a little thing calls "passion".

Actually, passion didn't really keep me going all the time. I did thought of giving up design lately. Not because I lack the interest, but more of the unfavourable market situations and the unjustified pay. However, I'm lucky to meet people who actually inspired me in how passion can push one through his moment of difficulty and convert it to a source of unlimited potentials. They are successful in their own rights and there must be a reason why they are clinging on to their passion all these while. To me, interacting with them is like I've stepped into a classroom once again, just that, the content of the class is not technically or theoretically based. Perhaps, that is what is commonly known as "the school of life".

I came across this quote sometime back; "To know the journey ahead, ask those who came back". There is a controversy to this statement. Yes, it is important to learn from other's life journey. But what if some of the replies are negative? Would you brave all weathers to continue the journey? Or just kill your passion and stop short wherever you stand? That was actually the dilemma I faced every now and then. Art and design was an interest I carried my whole life. When I made up my mind to take up a design course in the polytechnic, instead of going to JC, my parents frowned. They gave the green light anyway, but reluctantly. I felt discouraged when I didn't topped my modules in school and started to think back on my decision. Like most of the things in life, regrets are considered a loss of time. Frankly I didn't regret. But I think it has been a bumpy road so far. I faltered at times while struggling to stand tall. However, whenever I feel my faith ebbing away, there will always be an invisible hand lifting me, dusting the dirt off my back and set me off to complete my journey.

But seriously, where does the road leads? An average designer's career lifespan isn't as long as an accountant's. Perhaps somewhere along the way, there will be a crossroad. Then will I be waiting to ask those who are returning from the journey?

I wish I had a street directory for that...

Power Flush!

2005-09-15T02:31:00.000+08:00

We wee, we crap into them everyday. We are fussy about using them in public. We hate the snail-crawl queue. We complained about the auto-sensored flush that activates when we shit. We leave our shit in the potty if the flush is faulty.

And yah. Singaporean females do have really long stools. They are so long and heavy, the average auto-matic flushers proclaims their incompetency. For two days in a row, I have visited toilets with crap left behind as souvenirs. Actually I felt really amazed rather than disguisted. How on earth can anyone ever have such thick and long crap??? And the second one (at Toa Payoh Central's toilet), is estimated to be at least 20cm in length and has hairy stuff (like ginseng roots) sticking out of its ends. It could be easily mistaken as a dead fetus.

Since the authorities are going to increase the number of toilet cubicles and bowls in public toilets, I think they should also think about upgrading the flushers too. If not, a toilet bowl with stools stuck in them is as good as a useless potty.

*A Big Heartfelt Thank You to all the janitors*

The Truth

2005-09-07T17:05:00.000+08:00

Why do words have weight?

Are they used to tell the truth or to make up the truth we percieve?

Nothing can hurt us and heal us more than this invisible sword.

Am I a victim to that?

Have I been slashed, munipulated and axed?

Am I dead?

Huminity has extinct?

What is the very thing I believe in?

Who am I to say?

Who will tell me?

I'm looking for the answer beyond words.

My mother, the Mad

2005-08-09T11:27:00.000+08:00

The bitch has struck again. My mother is mad-ass crazy. And I literally mean it. I think she's psychologically unbalanced and she need professional help. She can hurl insults about others to herself for an hour or two even when she knows no one's listening. She'll got berserk if you ever critize one bit of her. It's like for every critism you give, you'll get a hundred-folds in return. She's always threatening to kill herself. And today, exceptionally, she threatened to kill me with a burning hot iron. Besides the attempted physical assualt, there's also the mental bit. Her acid tongue almost got me driving a knife into my heart, 'cos I feel I've lost the purpose to live.

I've decided to look for some family counselling programmes to analyse if my mom is really unsound up there. We can't go on like that. I've been through 22 years of hell. It has got to stop. Somewhere. Somehow.

Point to ponder 1

2005-07-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

Mr Fantastic from the Fantastic Four has the ability to elongate any part of his body by will.

How would sex with him be like?

I wonder...

What are friends for? Really...

2005-07-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

Today, I felt like I'm on the peak of moody's point. Even clumsy line-dancing aunties can't twitch my mouth to a smile. For today it's a sad day. 'Cause, I've silently marked the unremarkable death of a friendship.

Seriously, do you guys ever had a friend you considered as your best-ie at one point of time in life? Someone you thought will be your soul-mate for life? Someone you see being your bridesmaid/bestman at your wedding? Someone who will be god-parent to your kids? And what-so-ever beautiful things friendship can paint? This is the very naive dream I believed in someone I've known for years. However, the dreams had ceased...

The hang-over from a disillusioning concoction followed. Tears flowed with flashbacks of our already-extinct happy times. And she don't know shit. 'Cause we don't do emo. Perhaps like men, sharing of emotions are for wussy friends. "We are fun-loving people! Yeah..." Whatever... That was a couple of years back.

Since then, I've long come to terms with how acquainted we are. I guess we are just different afterall. And I'm not exactly the coolest kid in town. Why would anyone be bothered with me? So fuck it. Life goes on and shit.

You might be asking. Perhaps it's some misunderstanding or you're just so fucking sensitive. And maybe I am sensitive. Remember.. Emos are for wussies. Well, wussy little me.

The fatal stab happened not too long ago. I've borrowed something from her. Let's just say, a laptop mouse. I understand that she's leaving for her studies down-under and she needed it. So we tried to arrange a time to meet up. Well, meet up for what? To simply pass her the mouse or to have time for a good solid good-bye? I always thought it's the latter. But in her messages to me, I can only feel that she wants the mouse badly. One of the messages read "I'm really not in the mood to wait anymore. I really need that thing. Thanks." Wussy little me felt so disappointed. So so disappointed. No mention of a chance of meeting? "Yeah, see you tomorrow or something." I thanked her nonetheless for helping in my time of need. Mission accomplished. Don't think there's a need for some solid good-byes.

Mushy good-byes are for wussies too..

The Eagle that never soar

2005-07-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

Here's an interesting African Fable I read from a forum.

The Eagle that never soar

A man found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life, the eagle, thinking he was a prairie chicken, did whatever the other prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that's how prairie chickens were supposed to fly.

Years passed. The eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong wooden wings.

"What a beautiful bird!" said the eagle to his neighbor. "What is it?"

"That's an eagle - - the chief of the birds," the neighbor clucked. "But don't give it a second thought. You could never be like him."

So the eagle never gave it another thought. And it died thinking it was a prairie chicken."

So do you dare flip those wings of yours?

Possessed

2005-07-08T03:11:00.000+08:00

Be gone Glutton Spirit!
I command you!
Be gone!

The lethal poison you casted on my dieting-soul!
Caused merciless pounds depositing in my body-whole!
Ruthlessly cursed by your spell of endless cravings,
Feels like I need to stock up every evening.
Your powerful talons have no plans to release,
So I have hunger pangs to please.
Time & time I want to be slim & trim,
But it's been so long since I visit a gym!

So...

Be gone Glutton Spirit!
I beseech you!
Be gone!!!

P.S.: Haha.. it's just something lame I came up with. Really feels like I'm possessed. I keep eating. As if it's some-kind of disorder. And yes.. I've gained 2kgs ald! The horror!!!!

The Booger Man

2005-07-04T02:47:00.000+08:00

Today, I met the infamous the Booger Man. Well...

I met the Booger Man on my bus home at the end of day. He slumped ungraciously into his seat and started sneezing. Then he let all the booger oozed out from his nostrils. The Booger Man had nothing to clean his mucus with. Before I knew it, he started blowing his nose on his palms. He then smudge the content of his palms all over the seats. I felt so disguisted just but staring at him from the corner of my eye. Booger Man caught me staring at him. I gave him a sting eye. He felt uneasy and moved to the back of the bus and started blowing his nose all over again.

I seriously hope SBS cleans their seats with sanitizers.

P.S.: Please SBS cleaners, keep us safe from the attack of the Booger Man.. Pretty Please!!!

Supreme Being

2005-07-03T03:01:00.000+08:00

Amen! The Supreme Being has spoken to me. And NO... He's not Jesus.

The Supreme Being based his scriptures on the media... But how much can the media say?
The Supreme Being knows the world.. But does He knows me?
The Supreme Being listens.. But cuts you off in the midst of your every sentence.
The Supreme Being respects you.. But only when you think he's right.
The Supreme Being gives comfort.. But in his own fashion.
The Supreme Being tries to convert me. But NO.. I wasn't convinced.

He has failed to make me walk his path. Thus, He has gaven up on me and moved on to preach his teachings to the rest of the world.

Now my insides are all mixed up. Losing your "religion" can be a hard thing to do. After all, emotional ties are the hardest to break. Well, at least I can count on Jesus.

bitch

2005-06-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

Money not only fucking makes the world goes round. It makes that fucking bitch happy too. I will not say who this bitch is. Let's just say she's close to me. Fucking calculative. Fucking proud. Fucking complain-y. It'll be good that the sky will rain dollars and cents and make sure she drown in it! I fucking hate money now! And I fucking hate being broke and poor. Stupid irony.

Now for another bitchy story. I can't believe that bitch (another one!?) from school actually beat my classmate and got the internship in this pretty big advertising firm. I don't see the beauty in her work anyway. Probably she just put on her shortest skirt and her fakest slang... and the bitch got her position in the company. I won't be surprised if she'll be trying new positions on her way to the top! Or maybe she just likes to be on top?

What's up with the society these days? Girls are turning bitchy, women are turning bitchy, even fucking aunties are turning bitchy. This is a fucked up society. "Money talk, bitches walk". Try disputing that...

post-graduation emo...

2005-06-07T02:07:00.000+08:00

The sudden and generous gust of relief simply left me overwhelmed. Everything has been said and done. And I have officially ended my student life. The time-span of a year seemed condensed. As cliche as it may sound, it's all gone in a blink of an eye. I miss all my super-blithesome classmates, the adrenaline rush each time we had assessment and especially our stay in UK. It's like the best time in all my life as a student.

I'm glad I didn't screw it up for once. I wouldn't say I got it right but the result is really more than what I expected. And for that, I must really give thanks to my one and only beloved God. I prayed for strength and determination and it was practically bestowed to me. I seriously don't think I can make it anywhere without Him.

Desperado

2005-05-14T03:57:00.000+08:00

Let's just say some guys are really trying a wee bit too hard to "expand" their circle of friends. I really can't help but to blog about this guy who messaged me on Friendster recently. Unfortunately and fortunately, I'm not attractive enough to be his target. Well, let's just cut the chase and have a sneek peek at his messages and my response.

Desparado's 1st msg:
Hi,
Is saturday once more.Time to chill out ya.but
I am sick, therefore staying @ home.
watching ppl swim in the ool side, may go study
room to read lor. so boring, feel like going out to
[party....

Well, i knew that u got some1 liao, therefore, I
crave and wish to noe yr lady frez (the both of
them took wif GREEN colour backgroyund)
.
Meanwhile, I hope to hear from U soon.

My Reply:Sorry but my friend is also attached.

Desparado's 2nd msg:
Well, Good day,

It seem like u got the intention to intro one of yr
lady frez to me ya.
WEll, It was due to work load.. I miss out party
time for the past many yrs liao, meanwhile, If u hav
A lady frez to ..Do giv me her contactv to follow, I
owe U a meal

I igonored that message. So the next one came...

Desparado's 3rd msg:
Hi Candice ,

don keeps saying ; the word "sorry but my lady
friend is also attached'...

I only hope tat you could intro one of yr lady frez
whos still available ya.

Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot.

My 2nd Reply:
Hi,
I hope you realised that I have my own things to
juggle and I don't have time to play match-maker
to a stranger.

P/S: "Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon.

(Well, I didn't have a copy of that msg so I think that's roughly what I wrote.. haha..)

Apparently, he wasn't very pleased with my reply...

Desparado's 4th msg:
well,
OUR account hav ben terminated ya
Thanks..
read tis ; if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I
Candice, hope u hav go to school(bo-tah-chei ) b4
huh...
, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say s a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon...

So here's my latest reply
I'm pretty please not to find a friend in you. Seems like
you are not only DESPERATE, you are also ungentlemanly
and petty.. Kind of uncommon for guys of your age.. Now
I see why you need strangers like me to introduce
girls to you...

I don't usually talk this way to people. Hope you'll feel
exceptionally special...

P/S: I'm ald happy.. Thanks for those blessings... Btw, maybe
you should rethink your statement when you say I "bo-tah-chei"... I shall not say more.

End of the insult ping-pong?

Seriously, he has the guts to even tell me that I "bo-tah-chei" (never go to school). Please re-read the content of his messages. Dear jury, please judge accordingly...

So far in all my history as a Friendster member, I've never encountered anyone like that. Strangers with bad english, yes. Strangers who asked for your friends' contacts, yes. Desperados, yes. But never a man of that caliber.

For those who knows me, I'm seldom unkind to people. But once someone like that step on my tail, I'm not to be tampered with... muahahaha...

To Mr Desperado, my advice to you, "Please do not cast stones at other houses, when yours is made of glass." Understand?

time?

2005-05-02T02:42:00.000+08:00

Waiting. Anticipation. It didn't happen. Time after time. Slowly, it became a norm and I don't expect anything anymore. Numb? Maybe...Or perhaps passion no longer exist. Even the strongest rock crumbles under the constant siege of tidal waves, time destroys. Time gives and takes everything. Time also makes me adapt.

Confusion... I can't suppress neither can I express. Sentiments... Perhaps like an hour glass, every bit eventually slips away. Takes some effort to get things back to the other side, but as soon as that's done, it starts slipping away all over again.

**I guess it's really confusing to read all these... Recent feelings, can't be help. There's no where to let out. I can't exactly mention this over my blog too... :(

mis-spelled

2005-04-28T11:43:00.000+08:00

Oh my.. What kind of a coo-coo-nathan am I? I can actually mis-spelled "patriotism" as "patronism"! There's a vast difference between the two, ok? Haha..

Just got the email strap with the "time-bomb".. Know why? Cause when the deadline's here, my classmate will all be brutally "massacred". Haha.. Ok.. Enough of my Unhumourous Humour. Probably what Jordan refer to as "tumor in your humour", pretty much a rip-off from some song.

The stay-over at Cheryl's place was pretty neat last night. We just can't stop talking. Well, it is indeed true when they describe : "2 women = a market"... I felt the closeness and warmth of friendship once again. Awww... What good are we without friends, right???

I'm kinda chilling to some Classical music. Yesh, classicals are pretty neat, at times... Something to take me away from the R&Bs, Rock and Punk. I particularly like Bach's Suite No. 1, Prelude played by Yo Yo Ma. And also some of Tchaikovsky's. Those of Tchai's are very story-telling. Pieces like Swan Lake and the Nutcracker Suite. I'm surprise to even find Peter and the Wolf. I think my all-time favourite is still Air on G-string, a very soothing piece, also by Bach. When I tell people, they always poke at the word "G-string". I don't know what to say to that.. *shrugs*

Not many people know this side of me. But besides Classical music, I'm a big fan of musicals. And secretly, my unrealistic ambition is to be part of the crew *erhmm.. backstage, I mean..*, do some stage designing, many even some prop or costume design, tour the world with the cast, curtsies during curtain calls, roaring applause, crowd shouting "Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore", Stares back at crowd with the oh-so-touched teary eye... Arghh.. This is life! But *slap* back to reality, deadline aka time-bomb is going to explode in my face in less than a month. And I'm like less than 10% done. Without this degree I can forget about going anywhere lah.. haha.. So I'm going to enclose myself in my burrow to churn that project out! Go passion! Go ambition! Go dreams! Yeah right.. Dream on.. haha.. Whatever..

patriotism

2005-04-27T01:54:00.000+08:00

Woa... My tongue is tinkling from the conversation I just had minutes ago... I just got my "conversational-drive' going and I can't stop! Even when my partner on the other side of the phone was already in "screen-saver" mode. I'm going to convert this energy into my blog.. haha..

Sharing knowledge is indeed a beautiful thing. And I viewed it as a powerful form of ballyhooing any kind of information, ever heard of the term "by word of mouth"? Yeah, that's what I meant... There's so much to learn from others. Take it with an open mind and learn. Give some food for your thoughts. Pick on a topic and battle it out with a debate. That's my favourite part.

Since I'm now a full-fledge adult and possess voting power, I should put in my 2-cents worth about our relatively new political figure here. It's none other than PM, Lee HL. When he first assumed the PM position, I thought he'll be just a figure living in his father's shadow. No doubt, his dad had indeed brought Singapore forward into economical limelight, in Asia at least, and also lead us to live the comfortable life we have now. It would be harder for him to cast a futher milestone. However, I can't turn a blind eye to the effort he put in developing national identity amongst us youngsters. To think about it, how many of us are actually proud to be Singaporeans? And to confess, how many of us complain about Singapore so much that at one point of time thought of migrating when the time is right? I have these exact thoughts before when I was a little younger. I used to think Singaporeans are ugly, They are kiasu, kiasi and Sing-lish is an ultimate disgrace. Nevertheless, our home is our home. And our culture and heritage is what we should be proud of, and humbly embrace it. Why look at the ugly side of Singaporeans? If you think that the grass is greeener on the other side of the world, I really think you should start travelling. This is the only ground where you are treated like first-class citizens, you get the right to complain, you get to walk along Orchard road smugly without racism comments (ok.. for me, at least). Personally I've been to places.. And in some places I don't called home, I totally got judged by my colour and labelled as a Communist Pig. And my less fortunate friends got kicked by some total strangers. Why? Just because of our colour...

I used to work in an English joint during the Worldcup season. Actually I was impressed by the patriotism those expats expressed when they came in for the game. At the sound of their national anthem, they sang along, loudly. I don't think us, Singaporean, will croon to the tune of Majulah Singapura anywhere. And to mention, one embarassing incident, during the semi-finals of the Tiger Cup at the National Stadium. The one where Singapore versus Mynnmar. The amount of Singaporean fans to the opposing team was 4:1. The Burmese fans truly sang their hearts out to their national anthem but in comparasion to our local counterpart, you can literally hear a pin drop from where I was sitting. Have all our Lions supporters lost their voices? From my judgement, apparently not! Not from all the "Referee Ka-U!!!"s, "Kelong ah!!!!"s, "Stupid Agu!! Your head gold (blonde), very heavy is it!!!"s...

From all these, highest level of patriotism: Anticipate for the 9th of August every year. Each Singaporean's heart will soar as high as the sparks of the fire works will take them *oh yes! We love Singapore!* and evanesce almost the same time the fireworks stop...

P/S: Since fireworks has such amazing powers, dear political leaders... You know what to do during election season! hehe..

my mom, the bitch

2005-04-22T03:41:00.000+08:00

I realised how your perception of life is exactly how it is going to be. If you think it's smooth sailing, it'll be.. Even when you are riding through rough patches, you know you are going to get over it someday. However, if you think that the whole world owes you a living and everyone is against you, then there is never gonna be a happy moment.

I have one such person in my family. She has given me life but not exactly the warmth of what a family should be. She's a total drama queen. I know... It's a terrible sin to bitch about your own mother. But I really can't stand her. She commands, I obliged. And she wanted more. Sheesh... And her most ultimate and powerful weapon... Her tears... Once she cries, everyone starts accusing me, be it whether I'm right or wrong. I don't even have a chance to explain or redeem myself.

She makes a big hoo haa over every single teeny weeny issues. That's her so-called poise of an empress dowager. And she claims that it's us (her family) that made her blood pressure really high and one day she's gonna die. Well, the other most frequently used tactic is to scream like a mad person and afterwhich, wail loudly to lament how awful she is just to be alive, the dialogue as predicted will goes something like that, (theatrically) "Oh heaven! What on earth have I done in my previous life to deserve the suffering I go through now? In my next life, please let me incarnate as a cow! I'm sure to be happier that way. Pleeeaaassee...... Wish me a quick death..." blah blah blah.. Stuff of that nature.. and almost as part of the routine, will attempt acts like opening the window and putting one leg out or taking a knife and threaten to commit sucide. The first few times she attempted, we panicked. Now, I'll just wait and see... After all, to take your own life takes alot of courage. Because from past experiences, she did drive me to the extend of trying to killing myself, but I had cold feet at the last hour.

Plus, she likes to talk bad about people and try to put others in bad light. Yeah.. She is a bad-case of severe self-denying. Working as a secretary, mind you.. normal secretary, not even confidential secretary, ok!... She complains about being under paid.. Please loh. $1800 is not low. And she put herself in high regard. I know, she's from River Valley High, attained A'levels', pretty good for the 1970's standard. But she don't know how to be thankful just to get a job at her age. How can she ever be contented. Seriously, I have never in my whole life met anyone bitcher than that. I felt bad having to say all these about my mom. I'm supposed to love my mom... I wouldn't say I don't love her but it's hard to accept her attitude, not at times, rather it's all the time. PMS everyday, every hour, every min ok!

My maternal aunties are identical to my mom. Together, they can be Zhen Qin II (you know the super bloody long Hong Kong drama series). Actually it's longer-running than that Zhen Qin ok! Very juicy storyline... issues revolving the broken family, youngest sister disowning the family, the re-union, the divorce, the shot-gun marriages, the boot-licking to richer relatives, their brother's sucided link to demon possession... blah blah blah... Well, there are definately many skeletons in my family's closet. Some which I know, some I think I better not know.

This is just a part of my life. And I regard it as a small percentage. I wanna look at it this way because I chose to. Everything is the matter of choice. The end of the world is never here until you summon it.

relief

2005-04-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

I'm alive!... The nightmare is over... The thought of myself being exploited by some cheap-skate company to do some job makes me felt cheap too. Well, that's the life of a designer. High expection, under paid, compensated with lots of personal time. No shit about it...

Let me move forward in life into another headache. My major project. Besides being heavily criticized by some lecturer I've never talk to before, I felt that the freelance job has took away almost all my drive toward my idea. My self-esteem has been at it's all time low. All these late sleepless night made me aged at least 5 years, heavy eyebags, prominent eye-rings, heavy bottom (a result of sitting too much) and finger cramps (from the clicking of mouse). It's not worth it for a freaking $200...

However, I'm happy that a new pope has been elected. Pope Benedict XVI... May he be as prophecized: " From the glory of the olive".. Deliver of peace. My greatest wish is to see catholics and protestant christians united as one. And also for the Jews and Muslims to accept Christ as God. After all, we are all counting on the same big BOSS... As I myself is a great believer of peace and harmony, I feel that animosity of any kind is the root of hatred and there is a negative butterfly effect to it.

2005-04-16T04:51:00.000+08:00

Jaded... The only verb to describe how exactly I'm feeling now. My fuels are running low from all the late nights. So is my youth... My pair of eyebags are definately not showing me any mercy.

Through all the hussle and bustle of the lifestyle we lead, is the primary goal of living just to fill our lungs and stomachs to keep the mechanicms of our mortal shell running? Sole purpose of living is somehow more than that. How I wish it's just that simple.

Work: we work hard indeed to put food on the table, put clothes on ourselves. And some evil employers just like to make our lives harder because some other people didn't make it easier for them. What kind of a f-up world are we living in? I've been curious. I've been questioning the logic of life for the longest time... Why is there even the money in the first place? Why do we all have to be slaves to $$$?? Why do we have to study for the sake of earning more $$$?? I hate it... Cause I'm penniless. I'm shit without dollars and cents. Cause the logic of living, working and spending just doesn't make sense...

hehe...

2005-04-01T16:05:00.000+08:00

Now you know why I love him so much... Such a darling, isn't he?.. But his words are making me blush.. heh...

Comments *Prior to my previous entry*:

Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are those we sadly overlook. U are a intelligent, beautiful girl with a heart of gold and u bring joy to everyone u come in touch with. Im sure everyone who knows you can attest to that. Don't ever feel this way about yourself, u should be proud of what God and your parents have given you, and see in yourself what others have seen in you! If u think you are a wall-flower, then u are a gorgeous one that envelopes everyone with your laughter,playfulness and fun-loving nature that we all have come to love and appreciate. You're just like a young,blooming sunflower who needs sunlight to grow and glow. And im just like the sunlight to provide u with that. Maybe somedays there'll be darkness and rain, but one thing's for sure, i'll always be there to brighten up your day once again, like a rainbow after the storm! And dont forget, your talents in design are jus like flower seeds, they need time to bloom so dont fret! Your time will come! ">

Jordan to everyone: Do all of u think Dymphna Candice is a talented designer, a fabulous frd and a joy bringer to everyone??

Everyone: Of course we do! We love her because... She is Candice and she is unique and no one can every replace her in our lives. ">

# posted by Jordi : 11:59 AM

Female Vs Male

2005-04-01T15:52:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm a WEIRD WOMAN... Do take a look at these test results. Am I a headache to MAN-kind or what?? haha...

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are 35% Normal

(Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat...

But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all

You think on a totally different wavelength

And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

newest work

2005-03-30T14:59:00.000+08:00

Yup Yup Yup... Finally my very own blog skin!.. Spent 2 days on the illustration and a night on the new layout... I guess it's worth it..

late supper

2005-03-30T03:23:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh... 3.30am.. and I just finished supper... Or rather left-overs from dinner. My mom took the effort to cook, I really have no heart to reject it. And yes... I'm gaining mass. My face is sagging. I'm not dressing quite trendy. I'm not popular. I'm also this thing called "inferior complexity" is kicking in.

Inferiority, that's nothing new to me. I've been feeling this since god knows when. I think I'm very insecure and maybe plus I need alot of assurance as well. I'm pathetic. I used to wallow in self-pity quite frequently... Hang my head while I walk, like a withering flower. I admire those who have a great deal of self-confidence. I can't do that. But I have gradually come to terms with what I am or what I'm not. I'm contented being a wall-flower. I'm envious of the beautiful and the talented. Yes I am... But being myself, I'm gratified...

Darling, I know I'm plain. But thanks for assuring me... Love you for that dear.

I am just so freaking emo...

words of wisdom?

2005-03-24T02:34:00.000+08:00

I just happened to see this comment posted by "Anonymous"... Sounds like words of wisdom...

ppl will tends to cherish things only after they lose it.

choose the easy way out might seems so much simple but u might regret in the future.

whereas if something not going to last then no pt holding on as wasting time and energy for both sides.

# posted by Anonymous : 12:43 AM

Anyway, "Anonymous", Your message is rather contridicting.. But I believe your message is to tell me to stop and smell the roses in life.. Yah??

Spongebob

2005-03-24T02:00:00.000+08:00

The Spongebob Squarepants was quite disappointing. A true blue Spongebob Fan will know it anytime... It just lost the real essense of the cartoon series... Overdoing the whole lame but funny factor. Perhaps it's just good as a 15 min per section cartoon, not a 1 1/2 hour animation.

I'm finally getting a real headstart in my project. Getting the flow-chart planned out, ready to design the interface of the interactive. Alot of work to be done. It's gonna be a real busy week for me. Tomorrow, there's church visiting, then there's good friday and on sunday.. it's Easter! I'm gonna get baptize on Easter! I don't know if my parents will be there. Just hope that they'll accept and respect my decision to be a Catholic.

Well, gonna get back to work.. Have to keep my entry snappy in case my computer hangs again.. Computers are such pain in the ass... Errhhh!!!

let's get down down down..

2005-03-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

**Let's get down, down, down, down..."

I'm feeling really under the weather today. Didn't even work... Sighz..Seems like I'm kinda stuck in a continual streak of bad-luck recently...

First, my computer is affected with some "shut-down syndrome" virus (same fate as the owner), it's so irritating, it keeps restarting itself every 20 mins or so. I so super-duper frustrated cause it "restarted" while I'm preparing some paperwork for my proj!! Sheesh!!

Then I'm down with flu and fever today... Feeling very "un-constructive" at home. I can't work to earn extra $$, neither can i work on my major proj! ERRRHHH...

Seriously, the series of unfortunate events just doesn't stop as yet. I discovered that the ringer function on my mobile phone is also down... So I'll have to rely on the vibration to take calls...

I don't feel too good about my self recently as well.. Somehow insecure.. Don't know why lah.. Maybe expecting too much of myself... Sigh..

Anger

2005-03-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

To the one I care...

I treat your sisters like they were my own. I hope you realise the damage you have done. Please think before you spill nasty things out...

Walk with me, Lord

2005-03-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

**Walk with me, Lord**
I have just encountered my first ever church retreat. It was awesome... I felt that my dear Lord had answered my prayers, doubts and worries in little, subtle ways. Through the experience, I got to interact with people whom I never talk to before in class. I've learnt so much from their experience, their perspectives on issues and their life stories... And I've also learn not to "judge a book by it's cover". I can't believe a person that I thought was Ah-beng-ish, is actually someone who has really strong faith and belief in God. It impressed me...

God works in many mysterious ways, indeed!

P.S.: Jordan, do you recall how co-incidentally we met and made up after our heated arguement? Amazing isn't it???

A fresh look?

2005-03-08T02:05:00.000+08:00

my new haircut!

I've got so many NEW stuff suddenly....

**NEW STUFF**
1. Hair-cut - Jordan's present to me.. I'm definately not complaining! hehe.. I like it what.. You can see how it looks like! Pic above...

2. Name - Upon baptism, I'll be known as Candice Dymphna(new!) Ng Yun Tian

3. Wallet - Choppie Ke-U-ty and Choppie Sexy brought me a GUESS wallet for B'day. Really funky.. I like~~

4. Hamster - Newest member to the family... Lemmiwinks(named after e lab rat in South Park, my cheeky bro's idea).. Courtesy of Kelvin Pang.. haha..

5. Flip-flops - Cool techni-colour flip-flops from my classmates! Woo-hoo!

It's my birthday!

2005-03-04T02:56:00.000+08:00

My birthday was a simple but heartwarming event.. I must thank all my friends who made it happened...

*Dan*:
Thanks for calling me from London. You'll always find a friend in me...

*The Choppies*:
You girls were so darn sweet... Dan and Cher, I wanna thank u guys for singing for me.. You girls have the sweetest voice! Tine, thanks for msging me from Aust! Selvy, thanks for the raving night! I wanna hug all of you at the same time! But I can't..
:(

*All those who were with me at Zouk*:
Thanks for the whole night of booze and moves... I had a time of my life...

*My NAFA classmates*:
The UK trip has really strenghten our bond.. Sorry that I couldn't treat you guys! You guys were a fun bunch!!

*New and Old friends*:
I really appreciate your greetings and birthday wishes! Just so happy to hear from all of you!!! Take care and let's keep in touch!!!

Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust

2005-03-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... Nothing last in this world anymore. Not any material, not even emotions... Infidelity, betrayal, abuse, insolency, hurt... eventually leads to HATE... Funny how this unspoken four-letter word has the cancerous power to devour saneness of some. Funny how the angel you once loved turn his back and snap right back at you... The situation turns cynical and hate burns like a fire within you... The aftermath? Ashes settle...The once-smouldering passion has converted to useless particles... Waiting to be carried away by the wind of time...

*Wedlock Marriages*

The reason of a wedlock marriage, obviously, is because of an unexpected pregnancy between an unmarried couple. Being "forced" to the decision, true meaning of marriage is lost. Couples, that I've met, both old and young, who married out of wedlock mostly end up being unhappy or unsatisfied with their partners and in most cases, the family do not have a close-knitted relationship. Perhaps they feel that they could have accomplish more, without the marriage, without the baby, or some simply feel that they had married the wrong person.

My aunty, for example, was married out of wedlock. I was shock to learn that she wed my uncle because she was conceiving my cousin. Pre-maritial sex was uncommon, especially with the more conservative older generation. However, that's besides my point. My uncle was this petite little man, always smiling, good-natured and happy-go-lucky... Some call him the typical "hen-pecked" husband. My aunty on the other hand, always feeling that she married the wrong man, overly obsess with superstitions (believe me.. she goes overboard sometimes!!). She's a good woman.. But her mouth's always rattling away like a machine gun. One day, many many many years after their marriage, my uncle snapped! He couldn't take her tauntings anymore. He openly womanised, got drunk, be harshed to her and everything else that wasn't him initially. Sure he's having a ball of a time, but I bet the both of them are living in misery deep down in their hearts...

I've also heard similar stories from the younger generation. It didn't end up happy either.. There's always a regret here and there..

My rationale: Never let the reason to get marriage be other than "LOVE" and "COMMITMENT". Be responsible for your own sexual behaviour... Please.. Always use some form of protective.. Come on... Condoms are not expensive...

Think about yourself and your happiness... and the path you are going to lay for your offsprings...

PISCES WOMAN

2005-02-28T01:23:00.000+08:00

I should assume I'm a typical Pisces.. It very much describes me.. take a read if you are interested to know me beyond face-value... Anyway.. the language sucks.. And I'm not responsible for it.. hahahah...

PISCES WOMAN

She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boyfriend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals. She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.

She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not, she will never try to over-power any man. It's not even in her thought. She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now. A Pisces woman, if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her, then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next. A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong.

You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and loves the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well. Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angle before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out. She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her. Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angel.

First Scrutiny

2005-02-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

Once again.. I was late for mass this morning. I literally spent 2 days preparing for it. I slept like 18 hours on Saturday just to make sure I can wake up at 8am on Sunday.. But still.. I was LATE!! Well, it's not just any ordinary mass.. But it's the rite of my first scrunity.. The priest anointed us on our foreheads and hands with oil and prayed over us. Next week is the second scrunity and counting down to Easter, aka Baptism Date... I can't wait.. hahaha..

Tortured souls...

2005-02-22T03:58:00.000+08:00

Feelings... They have set their sweet and bitter ways at tormenting our souls.
Love & Hate... They intertwine.. They work meticulously, and at the same time, recklessly.. They build and destroy...
In life... we all play the little game of love & hate sometimes. Some played too hard, some don't give a damn.. Once in a while, we got trapped in it, all alone. That's when you learn and grow...

Tonight.. I had this really private chat with my close friend's ex-boyfriend. I'm really curious about their hush-hush break up. I didn't really know what went wrong between the both of them until tonight. Besides the physical distance between them, there's more than meets the eye. Well... Not gonna let out too much details. Somehow, this guy let me into his personal thoughts and inner feelings. Some stuff that he should really be telling my friend, instead of me. To be frank, I'm really touched by his words. The feeling lingers... It tortured him...

Maybe my friend's feeling the same way too.. Maybe she's not.. I don't know. If her feelings still stays for him.. why do they want to put each other through these? If not, what can he do to end this suffering? to ease his pain?

Death is not the end. Every ending spells a new beginning.. And life is beautiful. It is indeed... But depends on how u see it. I wish this guy would break away from the shadow of gloom.. Step outside and take a deep breathe...